I didn’t quit Twitter so much as I just stopped tweeting one day and haven’t been back (yet). Like weening off of any drug, some days are better than others and it’s better to have other distractions around. I haven’t completely stopped lurking but we’re getting there.
Without that infamous megaphone into the void, it’s hard to have a place online to treat like a public diary and pretend that people are paying any attention to. So many thoughts left unremarked, so much useless insight kept internal, and so much depression left to eat at my soul rather than get 5 retweets.
At any rate: I have a few thoughts I’d like to share with whoever opens this email that I’ve been holding onto:
I hate being a journalist and media, particularly rap media, which is full of cornballs and assholes, trippin on their own outsized egos. Most of them stopped being interesting years ago and the ones that are usually aren’t famous enough to make a living talking to. The only thing softening more than my enjoyment at this work is my enjoyment of the actual music being made. But because my stupid brain can’t do much else I have no way to make money but to write and usually to write for magazines and blogs that pay pennies to deal with some “hot” artist’s persecution complex.
I spent a lot of this week thinking about my ex and how I’m probably going to die alone. This isn’t on some woe is me shit, I’m genuinely scared I’m going to die alone. I keep burrowing deeper into my own depression and inferiority. I feel like I’ve become so antisocial all of a sudden. I feel like I’m just a ball of resentment targeted at my loved ones who are actually around just because I want so many things in my life to have happened differently. It’s really pathetic.
I don’t know. I kinda think everyone was being too hard on Don’t Worry Darling. Yeah sure, half of it doesn’t make any sense or work from a structural standpoint (and it’s definitely too long), but as a pure vibes affair—it did its job. Sometimes movies don’t need to be more. Who cares if it’s fake deep? Most mainstream entertainment is. It’s so shameless in its cribbing from better, more respected directors that I kinda respect the hustle. In actuality, Don’t Worry Darling would thrive way more if it were an Elaine May film.
I’ve never been good at building “a brand.” I am not exceptional at anything and I am lazy at everything. This newsletter is fun but I don’t know that I can offer anything you couldn’t get from the scary weird kid at your high school, smoking cigarettes outside instead of going to class or a babbling homeless man outside of 7-11 (the future for most unemployed writers). My opinions aren’t particularly insightful and my commentary is shallow and obvious. As a result, that makes squeezing out a living for myself miserable. Only white guys get to be average AND successful, everyone else has to choose.
New Music Grades:
BlueBucksClan - Clan Way 3: B+
Lancey Foux - LIFE IN HELL: B+
dvsn - Working on My Karma: C+
Smino - Luv 4 Rent: B
Surf Gang - AT LEAST WE TRIED: B
Drake & 21 Savage - Her Loss: C
Lil Double 0 - Walk Down World: A-
Jeezy & DJ Drama - Snofall: C-
Boldy James - Mr. Ten08: A-
Wizkid - More Love, Less Ego: A-
The 1975 - Being Funny In a Foreign Language: B-
Glorilla - Anyway.. Life’s Great: B+
Taylor Swift - Midnights: C
Letter of Recommendation: Barry Jenkin’s Underground Railroad got short shrift when it debuted all at once on Amazon without much fanfare. It’s not totally shocking, it’s got a lot going against it from a public relations perspective: it’s stuck on a streaming channel more interested in owning content than heralding cinema, it’s long, arduous, and punishing, and it’s central subject matter of slavery is one that a large contingent of black viewers feel an aversion towards for a number of reasons (some valid, some not). But ultimately, Railroad has so far been Jenkin’s magnum opus. An epic on the scale of Lawrence of Arabia that feels unbound by the signifiers of television or film. It is its own genre deserving of a big screen and your entire time and focus to delve into its brutal yet beautiful world. Jenkins strength as a filmmaker is his sensitivity and deep empathy for his story and it shines in the face of such evil. Slavery crafted a world that was barbaric and demented as its very act and Underground Railroad has succeeded at capturing this.
If you want to send any questions, comments, concerns, good vibes or hate, or advice, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks for reading. The newsletter is free but you can show your appreciation by donating whatever you can to the fund here. (or CashApp $iodara).
Thank you for this. I’ve missed your commentary
Good shit dude