College Football Weekend Power Rankings
Week 0/week 1
Chip Kelly back???: UCLA got a definitive win over LSU this weekend. LSU didn’t look as awful as last year but they looked a little better. Only time will tell if UCLA is actually really good or if LSU is getting worse. We’re about to find out how much country a championship can get you in Louisiana.
GT loses to NIU: This was M-bearrazzing lol. NIU might be the worst team in the MAC. The ACC did not have a great weekend in general (more on that later).
Alabama might be better? In a weekend where everyone played a little nervous and got off to slow starts, Bama showed the Death Star is still in tip top shape. Not only is Bryce Young a better athlete than Mac Jones, he already looks comfortable running the system. But this was a defensive showcase. The tide cruised to a 44-13 victory over the Miami Hurricanes. Death, taxes, and Bama continue to thrive even in our falling empire. Speaking of which…
What could be sadder than Miami unveiling a new turnover chain while scoreless and down 27 points? Having to tuck it back in when the call was reversed by officials. Y I K E S
A moment of silence: To all the teams that flew too close to the sun this weekend, Minnesota you had a hell of a half of football despite being very obviously terrible and limited. Tulane, I’ll always ride your wave anytime. Louisiana Tech, you chose the wrong time to forget how to play defense. Fresno State, on the bright side this was on the Pac-12 network so no one saw it.
The Worst Scott Frost Day Ever: Nebraska won their cupcake this weekend but they lost to the Bret Bielema fighting Illini last weekend in shameful fashion. I don’t know if Frost is getting fired this year but he’s getting fired eventually. Nebraska can’t be saved, no one wants to go there but more than that it oesn’t actually seem like he’s a very good coach. Adrien Martinez is still the QB1 despite being there for 7 years now. It’s all just so shameful.
FSU is… respectable, maybe? Florida State nearly took down a top ten team in Notre Dame on Sunday. While they didn’t look like a dominant program it was the best they’ve seemed in years. They have OL problems as usual and they make too many mistakes but any progress is better than none. Also…
Brian Kelly should probably workshop his comedy. Watching him get all mad and red was much funnier.
Vanderbilt is moving forward:
Nothing to see here, let’s move on. Their offense might could learn a thing or two from this mentality.
Hey, turns out Trevor Lawrence was pretty good: Okay it might be unfair to pin all the problems on Clemson’s offense on just the QB but the thing with Clemson is, for all Dabo has done to build up that program into the national championship winning behemoth it’s become, Clemson can only go as far as their quarterback. People often make the mistake of thinking there was a seamless transition between Deshaun Watson to Trevor Lawrence, but on the contrary, in between the two was a year of Kelly Bryant. Bryant was good but he wasn’t great and it was evident how not great he was the minute they got to the playoff. There’s a lot of similarity between Bryant and DJ Uiagalelei, they’re good athletes and mega-talented but there’s just something missing. Yes the OL is bad, it’s been bad for a few years now, yes they don’t have a replacement for Etienne, yes the playcalling has always been a little suspect, but DJ shares a lot of the blame here. He looked confused, the game seemed too fast for him, he held the ball too long, he couldn’t get off the primary receiver. The good news for Clemson is it probably won’t matter for the rest of the season, the bad news is it will in the playoff.
The perfect Kirby game: no offensive points. A touchdown off a turnover and a defense that sacked the opposing QB 6 times. There’s no way that man is not jerking it to the All-22 later.
Targeting rules are more annoying than ever! In Louisville - Ole Miss, the cap to this football kickoff weekend, we ad four ejections for targeting alone. Blah blah blah yes it’s important to protect these guys, but the instant ejection has always been needless and still is. Let’s ask Lane Kiffin how he feels:
The crowds are back and it’s beautiful… but I have so much anxiety about it as covid is probably worse now and the vaccination numbers aren’t strong enough. Time will tell I guess and I don’t want to poop on this party (I’m not actually in college anymore), but it’s hard not to be nervous
Good for Deion bringing his swag (and celebrity) to an HBCU. There’s no doubt that JSU will be one of the best recruited teams in the SWAC, but man it’s hard to believe in a coach’s gameplan with those shades on.
This weekend was big for defense, kicking off with Penn State- Wisconsin. It wasn’t always fun to watch but… I don’t know, some people care about defense so I’m happy for them.
Tulane is a special team and we’re all worse off for not seeing them pull of the upset Saturday. How can a team with a player named Phat Watts be considered losers?
The “no no no… YES!” award goes to:
Football is back and it’s probably more evil than ever but I love it so much. See you next week.
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