College Football Power Rankings
A not-quite blood week but a doozy nonetheless.
Oregon takes down Ohio State: if there was any takeaway from OSU’s week 1 win over Minnesota, it was the fact that Minny gave them a lot of trouble for a half despite having an insanely one-dimensional offense. Perhaps that was a sign of things to come: Oregon, without their best defensive players, got in a shootout with the Buckeyes and lived to tell the tale. Mario Cristobal’s program is starting to come into their own and while they’re not the high-powered airshow of the Chip Kelly era, they are tough on both sides of the ball. Anthony Brown played a hell of a game and CJ Stroud… looked like a freshman for much of the day. It’s a tough loss for Ryan Day.
Ok fine let’s talk about it: FSU played football this weekend by the way, hopefully you missed it. After the Rudy-esque moral victory last weekend against Notre Dame, Florida State immediately squandered all the good feeling and optimism they’d created by blowing a game to an FCS opponent for the first time in school history. Congrats to JSU I’m sure they’re great kids but this was embarrassing. Shameful. Depressing. It was a perfect embodiment of what this program has become: playing up or down depending on the opponent, undisciplined, uninspired play calling and just poor mechanics. I HATE rooting for this team because it’s not even that they’re bad, they’re incompetent. You can fire these guys but it won’t change anything. The school desperately wants to run a football program like a mom and pop business when the sport has gone totally corporate. When Jimbo bailed, he branded us as a place stuck in the past and unwilling to do what it takes to win and we’ve done nothing to change that. Also…
This has to be just the worst omen for any future marriage but so is getting married in your early 20s.
The only real difference between FSU and Miami is that Miami can still beat their cupcakes, even if just barely. Both programs seem stuck but Miami seems to have gotten to that point almost by accident.
This cat is probably not the first person who has wanted to push themselves off the highest bleachers of the Hard Rock during a UM game. Nonetheless happy it could be saved by everyone. Best catch of the game.
Tennessee lost to Pitt because of course they did. The chaos of Pitt claims all who gets within its vortex. Also they are an actual good football team.
Rutgers - Syracuse gave us a scoreless half of football, you know because we’ve been such good kids. It included such illustrious highlights as:
When you’re rivals but still fam at the end of the day:
Halftime: The best music to come from this weekend, ranked by what I’m playing most:
Yeat - Up 2 Me
Kacey Musgraves - star-crossed
Tems - “Crazy Tings”
Maxo Kream - “Big Person (ft. Tyler, The Creator)”
Ari Lennox - “Pressure”
Yeba - Dawn
Baby Keem & Kendrick Lamar - “range brothers”
Armani White - Things We Lost In The Fire EP
Low - Hey What
AZ - Doe or Die 2
¡El Assico! is exactly the same every year. Low scoring and somehow even when Iowa State is good they can’t win. It is so predictable it might as well be a rule, set in stone. Every year I think, “well they’ve gotta do it this year right???” They never ever do.
Not that Gus Malzahn is out of Auburn, perhaps Clay Helton will be the guy who’s fan base wants him fired after every loss. It’s very hard to imagine he makes it out of this year (particularly if a certain coach in Jacksonville starts looking for escape boats) but no one really expected him around this long either.
update: as of this posts publication Clay Helton is out at USC lmao
Is the PAC-12 elite? It sure seems like UCLA and Oregon are good, even Arizona State looks good so far. But then USC blows it to Stanford and Utah gets upset by BYU. So maybe the conference will beat each other up again and miss the playoff. Either way it’s been fun to watch.
Jimbo and his conservative play calling leads to a huge scare for Texas A&M by Colorado but ultimately they were too good a team to be held off by a CU squad that struggled to move down the field.
The other Texas school is still a work in progress and frankly made Arkansas look like 2010 Auburn. KJ Jefferson played well and he didn’t make too many mistakes, just gashed the Texas defense. A bad sign of things to come but hey, Steve Spurrier has the right idea:
This game sort of was like the experience of watching the last season of Game of Thrones:
See you all next week to hopefully make fun of Florida after their game against Bama.
Send questions, topics, advice, or hate mail to email@example.com